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Friday, November 11, 2011

Shabbat Shalom

Shabbat has become a hugely important time in my week. Taking that break from stress and worry every week is the only thing keeping my hair from going prematurely grey.

I've always been a worrier but in the past few years my anxiety has genuinely become a big problem. I'm not having panic attacks these days but I am no stranger to stress. And instead of becoming an alcoholic i've been trying to throw myself more into Judaism and Jewish study. I've been with this community over 2 years now and what I'm finding is that on Friday nights the songs begin. My head fills with Shabbat tunes like Mizmor Shir or L'cha Dodi and I take a deep breath and just... let go. Nothing else matters but being myself, loving life, treasuring Dave and feeling shechinah.

xx
Kat

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Turning

Not every day do we encounter God,
not every time is opportune for prayer,
not every hour one of grace.

We fail and fail again 'til journey's end.

We turn back only to lose our way once more,
and grope in search of long forgotten paths.

But God, holding a candle,
looks for all who wander, all who search.

~Shifra Alon

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Books

Growing up, I was obsessed with reading. My mother would catch me under the covers with a torch, a toy, anything that would light up, so I could avoid sleeping and just keep reading. I'd devour so many books every year that the library became the only option for my poor mother's wallet.

I'm not sure where that went. Maybe it's because I become so disillusioned with the books I start reading, maybe it's because I have set favourites and like to know I'm going to enjoy it, or maybe it's a lack of time. But somewhere along the line I stopped this constant reading.

I have a large stack of books that I have started and never got very far into. There are books I have started and then filed or given away, as they are just no good. I think the last book I read that I genuinely loved was The Time Traveller's Wife.

And then there's the "jew books". Ever since I started this journey, I have been collecting books on Judaism and reading them over and over, dog-earing the pages that I find interesting or have things on to remember. My Rabbi gave me a list when I met with him in November 2009, and I have been collecting them slowly. Rather than trying to get them from any library, I have been excitedly building up my Jewish Library. (Sadly, I have to try and get these all back to New Zealand someday).

In a few weeks I'll post a list of what I'm reading, what I've read and what I really should be reading. I'll discuss the books as much as I can. Everything apart from one or two is packed away for our upcoming move, but the two I did leave out are:

The Wisdom of Maimonides by Edward Hoffman. I discovered this in a little bookstore in Vancouver last month, and we realised shortly afterwards that we were in a University store. Hence the amazing stack of religious books (I wanted to buy all of them). Maimonides was a Jewish physician and philosopher in the 12th century who wrote fantastic texts such as Wisdom for the Perplexed. Now that's a title.

and

Essential Judaism: A Complete Guide to Beliefs, Customs and Rituals by George Robinson. This was one of the original books I bought. It's huge and has been read many times and has a lot of flags in it. It's so informative.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Chanukkah

Whether you spell it with or with the C, Hanukkah is a fun wee festival, but a minor one. The recent commercialisation of it (largely in America, where the largest number of Jews live) has pushed it to a more equal level to Christmas, but this was not originally the case.

There are loads of places you can find out about Hanukkah on the web, so I'm not going to give you any sort of history. I will however tell you that it has been pretty special for the last two years, being in my small Edinburgh community. We always have a wee party, cook latkes, sing songs and have games for the kids. This past Hanukkah party, I played the piano so that the children had an accompaniment for pass-the-parcel. A simple act, but it was lovely to be asked.

I feel very shy in my shul. I have been with them for 15 months now, but I still feel like a bit of an outsider, and definitely can't go as often as I'd like. I know that I'm not as involved as others, and that does push me to the sidelines, and often people do not remember me. But I'm happy to be involved when and where I can.

Next Hanukkah I'm hoping to celebrate with small presents and greater observance overall. It may be a little festival, but it's so nice to bring light to the darkness in winter.

(Did you have a good break? Happy New Year!)